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C H A P T E R 14
Some people are sent a sign spontaneously as a gift, while others ask or pray to receive one. Depending on their belief system, they may ask their deceased loved one to give them a sign, or they may pray to God or the “universe” for one. Typical symbolic ADCs include butterflies, rainbows, flowers, many different species of birds and other animals, and any number of inanimate objects. Whether a sign comes immediately or takes days or weeks to arrive, most people intuitively recognize their sign right away and feel it was intended just for them. ADC signs provide much hope to those who are grieving deeply, especially bereaved parents and the widowed. But because they are a symbolic form of communication, the receiver must interpret his or her own experience and assign personal meaning to it.
After my daughter’s Catholic funeral service, we went out to the cemetery. While Father was saying the final prayers, a big white butterfly landed on Lindsey’s white casket and stayed there the whole time. When the service was over, Sister Therese hugged me and said, “Oh, Caroline, did you see the white butterfly too? A butterfly is a symbol for the Resurrection!” I never knew that meaning before, and this put me at peace. The butterfly is the most frequently mentioned ADC sign. It is a spiritual symbol for life after death because of its metamorphosis, or transformation, from a caterpillar that crawls on the ground to a beautiful, almost ethereal creature that flies through the air. It has also become a symbol for personal growth and spiritual rebirth.
We were at my Uncle Teddy’s funeral in our Catholic church. I was praying during Mass and thinking of him. All of a sudden, this butterfly came fluttering down the aisle and stopped right by us. It was a real pretty orange and brown one. It fluttered around us, then turned and went up to where my sister was playing the piano. It did a twirl, then went over by the casket and up by the altar. Then the butterfly just flew off. It was wonderful! It was a miracle! As long as I have gone to that church, that is the only time I’ve ever seen a butterfly inside. Of all the churches in the world, how many do you think had butterflies in them at that moment in time?
Today, pictures of butterflies can be found throughout almost every hospice. This symbol is also used extensively by many grief counselors, spiritual centers, and support groups for the bereaved.
I was sitting at my kitchen table looking out the glass storm door. A large monarch butterfly flew to the center of the glass. As it stayed there fluttering, a strange sensation came over me. I called my husband and we went to the door. The butterfly turned and flew to a large flower box at the far end of our deck. It fluttered around the flowers as we stood and watched for several minutes. I felt my grandson was here. Mentally, I said, “Johnny, if you really are here, please send the butterfly to the door one more time.” Immediately, the butterfly flew to the center of the glass, right to my face. It fluttered there a few more seconds. Then I received a telepathic message from Johnny saying, “I’m alive and I’m okay.” The words were very clear. This experience left me with the feeling that I’ll see my grandson again – that there is life after death and that love is eternal. A symbolic ADC can be distinguished from an everyday event by a combination of the timing, the setting, and the uncharacteristic behavior of a butterfly. But usually experiencers must rely upon intuition to identify the significance of such subjective experiences.
On the Fourth of July, we were up at our summer home in Pennsylvania. I was there with my wife and her aunt, her uncle, and her cousin. We were sitting out on the lounge chairs, and I was having a cigar. This butterfly just happened to be flying around. I looked at it and right away thought of my daughter, Diana. I thought, “If it’s you, Diana, come down and tell me.” And it did! Immediately, the butterfly landed on my finger! It walked up and down on my finger, then onto my hand, back and forth. I could even see its little feelers moving. I couldn’t believe it! My wife sort of looked at me – I think she knew what I was thinking. I finished my cigar and got up. The butterfly stayed right on my hand. I walked all the way to the house, went to the kitchen sink, and drank a glass of water. The butterfly was still with me – I couldn’t believe this! I said, “Well, I gotta go take a shower. You gotta go outside.” I opened the door and went out on the deck. I sort of pushed the butterfly with my finger and it flew off. I watched it fly away, down the yard. It was just unbelievable! Never had a butterfly landed on me before. Then I went in to take a shower and cried. I really didn’t know that the butterfly had any significance to The Compassionate Friends until I went to their annual conference a few days later. During the opening ceremony, I realized, “Oh, my God! Their symbol is the butterfly!”
June: About two weeks after Chad died, I was in the kitchen, and my husband called and said, “June, come out here!” I went outside, and there, in the middle of the day, was this large moth. It was a chartreuse color and about five inches across. I had never seen such a gorgeous moth! Lyle: I found the moth out in the backyard. I picked it up and put it in my hand, and it didn’t fly away. I’ve never seen a moth act like that before. Then I placed it on a branch of a bush. June: We called our sons, Cory and Clay, to come look at it too. We all watched it quite awhile, and finally it fluttered away. Later, I looked it up in a book on butterflies and moths and was dumbfounded! It was a luna moth, and luna means moon in Latin. Chad’s hobby was astronomy, and he wanted to be an astrophysicist. The family the luna moth belongs to is saturniidae, and above Chad’s desk is a picture of Saturn! Therefore, we all think Chad sent us this sign to let us know he is in a new life.
On my birthday in December, I was driving home from work. It was a cold, gray day, and I was feeling kind of blue because Don wasn’t there. As I was driving down the street, I happened to look up. There in the sky the gray clouds had separated a little bit and made a perfect circle. Within the circle I saw the bands of the colors of a rainbow. It certainly is uncommon to see a rainbow in December in Michigan. I sensed immediately that Don sent me this rainbow for my birthday. It was my son’s gift to me! I said out loud, “Thanks, Don! I got your message!” As we’re all aware, even on the most overcast day, the sun is still shining brightly behind the dark clouds. But when we’re feeling sadness, it’s important to remember that a sparkling rainbow may be up there too, perhaps right above our head!
Before Kimberly was born, we painted a huge mural of a rainbow and sunshine on her wall. Her whole bedroom was decorated with rainbows. And a lot of the gifts she received had rainbows on them. Kimberly was our rainbow kid! Ever since she died, on her death date and on her birth date, there are rainbows here. It’s sunny, it rains, the sun comes back out, and then there’s a big rainbow in the sky! That’s Kimberly’s way of coming to us and reassuring us that there’s life after death. Last year on her death date, we went to her grave. As we were leaving the cemetery, a big rainbow appeared in the sky in the east. It gave us shivers and chills and brought tears to our eyes – and smiles too! The rainbow is one of mankind’s oldest symbols of hope and eternal life. It’s no surprise, therefore, that many bereaved people report seeing a magnificent rainbow on various anniversary dates following their loved one’s death.
I had three children who were all married, and I had eight grandchildren. Lou had always wanted to have a little, blue-eyed, redheaded granddaughter because my three children and I all had red hair, but none of the grandchildren did. A week before Lou died, my younger daughter, Shelley, phoned and told him that her pregnancy was confirmed, and she would name the baby after him. He was so excited he gave me some money right away to buy a present for the baby, knowing he might not be alive when the child was born. Within a few days, Lou went into a coma and died. Eight months later, a little granddaughter was born with blue eyes and red hair just like her mother. When I got the call, I drove to the hospital, but I was upset and crying because Lou wasn’t there to see this baby. As I approached the hospital, a rainbow appeared over it! I felt the rainbow was a sign from God that Lou knew this was the little, blue-eyed, redheaded granddaughter that he had wanted so badly. It was a miracle! Even eight months later, Belinda intuitively recognized the rainbow connection between her beloved husband and her newborn grandchild. While most people believe their ADC sign is a direct communication from their deceased loved one, others regard it as a gift from God on behalf of the one who has died.
It was a misty, rainy, totally overcast day. There was no sky visible anywhere. I spread Arlene’s ashes around a tall ponderosa pine tree up in the White Mountains and said a prayer. Then I walked back to my car about forty feet away and said another prayer. As I stood up, a shaft of bright, golden light came through the clouds and shone around the base of the tree. It only lit up that particular spot where Arlene’s ashes were. The light did not illuminate anything else. It was an amazing experience – it was just incredible! I thanked the good Lord. I knew it was God letting me know that Arlene was with Him again. Several people reported seeing a beam of bright light suddenly shining on a particular object or place as Walter did. Some of these accounts describe a ray of golden light illuminating a casket during a funeral service or highlighting a memorial stone at a cemetery.
Right after Matthew’s funeral, I removed a gorgeous mum from his coffin. Mums last a very long time, so I took it home and put it in some water and placed it on my kitchen windowsill. A couple of weeks later, the mum was totally dead. I remember thinking, “I can’t bear to part with this.” And I chastised myself because I couldn’t even throw away a flower. But I put the mum in some fresh water anyway. The next day the mum was totally alive again! I took that very definitely as a sign that Matthew was trying to tell me he was okay. Flowers are very popular not only for their natural beauty, but for their powerful emotional and spiritual healing properties as well. In this instance, the revitalized chrysanthemum became a symbol of life after death for Joanne.
Cynthia and I had a Christmas cactus that was a little forlorn thing. It had never bloomed or shown any particular life. We kind of jokingly called it “Cynthia’s plant.” After my wife died, I went on a trip and came home on her birthday. When I opened up the house and went around to look at the plants, here was this Christmas cactus bursting with a profusion of flowers! Usually a Christmas cactus blooms around the holiday season. But Cynthia’s birthday is on June 14! Symbolic ADCs can be viewed as nonverbal greetings from our deceased loved ones. It’s as if they are saying, “Hello from heaven! I’m all right, I love you, and I’m watching over you and your life.”
Martin was a person who knew nothing about outdoor work or gardening. He managed to mow the lawn, although once he sliced through the cord of the electric mower. One afternoon about six years before he died, he came home with a stick in his hand. He said, “Darlene, this is going to be a flowering plum tree.” I said, “You’ve got to be kidding!” He planted that stick right outside the kitchen window. Sometimes he talked to it, and lo and behold, it began growing. It grew into a beautiful, large plum tree, but never once were there any buds or flowers on it. Martin died on Thanksgiving Day. The following Easter morning, I got up and went into the kitchen and looked out the window. I was totally set aback! There were millions of bright pink blossoms on Martin’s tree! It looked magnificent! My husband never believed in life after death or in God. So I found it interesting that this happened on Easter Sunday. There’s no question the flowering plum tree symbolizes his new birth. Experiencers regard these events as signs that their deceased loved ones are all right, while skeptics believe they are just coincidences. If reality is in the eye of the beholder, perhaps both views are valid.
After my father died, we took his ashes up to the Red River Gorge in Kentucky. It’s full of holly, evergreens, and mountain laurel. We played one of his favorite songs and threw his ashes off the top of the mountain. Right at that time, three red-tailed hawks came up from the very bottom of the gorge. They flew straight up, side by side, almost like an airplane formation. When they got just above us, they separated like a trinity. One bird flew to the left, one bird flew to the right, and one kept going straight up. It was astonishing! I’ve hiked that gorge for years, and I’ve never seen three red-tailed hawks together. To me, this was my sign from my father. It was a final salute, the final “So long! Wish you well!” We heard many accounts of symbolic ADCs that involved birds. Other species included blue jays, Canadian geese, cardinals, crows, doves, eagles, hummingbirds, ospreys, owls, pigeons, and robins.
Stewart’s dream from childhood was to have his own airplane, and after we found he had leukemia, we bought one. Those five years we had with that plane were the happiest he had ever been. Stewart loved flying and the freedom he had in the air, and he loved the book Jonathan Livingston Seagull. Around three weeks after his death, I was planning to go back to work for the first time – and I was dreading it! I was sitting at my dining room table just crying and crying. Then I looked out at our deck. The biggest seagull I have ever seen in my life was perched right on the corner of the railing, looking in at me as if to say, “You can make it!” I live about 350 miles inland from the coast, and I had never seen a seagull in my yard or on my deck – ever! So I got in the car, and the seagull followed me all the way to work! Time and time after that, while going to work, I would look up and see this seagull following me. It was so clear to me that this bird was sent from heaven to uplift my spirits and give me the courage to go on. I feel Stewart was there with me at that time looking over me. It made me realize that he is okay, that he’s not suffering anymore, and that he’s free to fly through the heavens like he did when he was here.
When Gregory and his sister were very young, we took them on a vacation to Key West, Florida. During this trip, Gregory was able to swim with a porpoise at a recreation area. That was the biggest thrill he ever had as a child. Through the years, Gregory loved the environment, loved the water, and of course, he loved porpoises. In fact, he loved everything in life. Before he died, he requested his ashes be placed in the Gulf Stream at sunrise so his ashes could travel all across the world. After Gregory’s death, a friend of ours picked me and my wife up very early in the morning in his boat. Our daughter came with us, and a friend of ours who would recite the Kaddish, which is a Jewish prayer for the dead. We started out from Miami Beach, and it took about an hour and a half to get to the Gulf Stream. Exactly at sunrise, my friend said the Kaddish, and my wife placed Gregory’s ashes in the water. No sooner were the prayers finished than a school of at least six to eight porpoises came alongside the boat. The porpoises stayed with us, swimming on both sides, as they escorted us practically all the way back to the beach. But that’s not the end of the story. A few years later, my wife and I went to a regional Compassionate Friends conference in Clearwater, Florida. At the end of the conference, everyone tied a message of love for their child to a helium-filled balloon. We all faced the Gulf of Mexico and released the balloons at 3:00. I asked Gregory if there was some way he could send us a message that he loves us, to please do so. No sooner did we release our balloon than a single porpoise came swimming toward us, to within forty to fifty feet of the shore. It disappeared a moment, came back up again, and then just glided away. These two experiences have given me delicious moments to think about and to keep inside my heart forever. It’s the extraordinary behavior of many kinds of animals that is so highly noticeable in these beautiful symbolic ADC accounts. Such signs are unmistakable to the experiencers because they often dramatically reflect the deceased loved one’s long-term affinity for a particular bird or mammal. With the exception of the last account, each of the ADC signs appeared to the experiencer spontaneously, and none of them had been requested beforehand. Significantly, they all involved forms of nature, and their symbolic meaning was immediately understood.
The night before the one-month anniversary of Steven’s death, I was carrying on in his room, saying, “Give Mommy a sign! Give Mommy a sign!” The next day I was in his room again. I had gotten Steven a kitten three weeks before he was killed, and the kitten was on his desk. But I didn’t want anything touched on his desk because I wanted to leave Steven’s room exactly the way he had left it. Then the kitten knocked over a painted bottle that Steven had decorated! I quickly shooed the cat off the desk and picked up the bottle with my index finger in the neck. I felt some paper inside, so I pulled it out and opened it up. Steven had written in marking pen, “I love you, Mom!!!!” I was so happy that I had gotten my sign! It made me feel so ecstatic that I was laughing and crying at the same time. The kitten’s actions at that very moment were essential for Lucy to find the written message from her deceased son. Was this purely “coincidental,” or could it be that the kitten was prompted to play its part in a larger plan?
This was about two weeks before the first anniversary of my daughter’s death. I called out, “God, please let Jodi give me a sign! You have zillions of people up there with you. All I’m asking is that one little girl send her mother a sign that she is okay.” I said this over and over all day long, and nothing happened. That night I had to go to a meeting at my church. As I was backing out of the driveway, I happened to glance down. There was a pencil on the side of the road, and something told me to pick it up. So I stopped the car, got the pencil, and looked at it. On the pencil it said, “I’m OK.” There’s no doubt in my mind that Jodi did this – that it was a message from her. Jodi was constantly drawing pictures, and I think the pencil was something she knew I could identify with her. It really helped me through the first year’s anniversary. For days I was just bubbling up! Asking is a form of prayer that opens the door to receiving. Whether or not we’re aware of it, this spiritual principle applies equally not only to ADC signs but to all other aspects of life too.
Skip always gave people roses. If anything special ever occurred, he gave a rose. He gave his girlfriend roses every Monday from the time he met her because he had met her on a Monday. If it was my birthday or if he wanted to get on the good side of me, he would bring me a rose. A month after he died, I was talking to him, saying, “Please, Skip, give me a sign that you’re okay.” Later, my three sisters were with me when I stopped at the cemetery. I said, “I wish Skip would just let us know that he’s okay.” One of my sisters said, “In time, he will.” Afterwards, we went on to church, and all during the service I was praying that I’d get a sign. When we came out and got in the car, I saw there was a rose stuck under the windshield wiper! It was a long-stemmed red rose. I knew immediately that it was from Skip. I just knew it! My sisters all started crying because they also knew that the rose was from my son.
I still have this rose, and it’s still as red as the day it was put there for me!
Douglas loved deer. He wore a beautiful deer pin on his hat. And a few days prior to his accident, I bought him a gold deer head for his birthday to wear on his gold neck chain. Eight days after his accident, I tried returning to work, thinking maybe it would help. As I was driving, I began to cry real hard. I pulled off the road and said, “God, please give me a sign that my son, my baby, did not suffer that night, that he knew no pain.” As I looked up, within fifty feet stood the most beautiful deer and her tiny baby fawn. They were standing there looking straight at me. As I watched them, they didn’t run. They just walked away until they were completely out of sight. I said, “Thank you, God, for letting me know that Douglas is all right.” Many times this has happened to me. I will start crying really hard and breaking down, and when I look up, there’s a deer. And I always feel peace and comfort afterwards. Hardly a week goes by that I don’t see one. In fact, I saw three deer today!
I was crying one day and talking to Sean, begging him to please send me a sign that he was still with us. After sitting for a little while, I had a feeling to get up and go into his room. I just wanted to open a drawer and touch his clothes, to hopefully feel a little bit better. But I felt compelled to pull the drawer all the way out and to look underneath it. There was a dime! Then it hit me, “This is a message from you, Sean! This is you coming through!” When I saw that dime, I thought back to a little joke that we had between us. I used to give Sean $2.00 a week allowance if he kept his room clean and did what he was told. As I gave him the $2.00, I would say, “This is for being a good son.” Then Sean would go to the little frozen juice can he had decorated where he used to put all of his change. He would get a dime and give it to me, saying, “This is for you, Mom. This is your allowance for being a good mother!” So when I saw that dime, I felt very good because I realized this was Sean’s message to me. I had never found a dime in my life before. As it happened, I started finding a lot of dimes after that, mostly at work. Then I started finding them on special days – on Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day. I would find dimes when I really needed them – at a restaurant, in a parking lot, in front of a pet store, walking our dogs in the evening, in a hospital when my husband had surgery, at a museum, in a pizza restaurant, and getting off a train. One day I even found two dimes! My family wanted to know that Sean was with them too, so I asked him to please give them a sign. And soon they also started finding dimes! Ever since Sunny received her first ADC sign nine years ago, she and her husband have continued to find “dimes from Sean” everywhere. Their current total is 640 dimes!
Then I decided to attend a national conference of The Compassionate Friends. One of the members had made a gorgeous stained-glass window for a fund-raising raffle. It had two butterflies in it and was very colorful. I passed it several times during the conference and thought that we had a perfect spot to hang it in our house. When I bought my raffle tickets, I said to Marc in my head, “For all these years I’ve heard stories of people who have had signs or messages from their child. If you are ever going to give me a sign, this would be a really good time to do it!” I don’t recall ever asking Marc before – it just came out very spontaneously. So I bought 10 tickets, and something like 800 tickets were sold. The raffle was held Saturday night. As the winning number was being read, I thought, “My God, I’m going to win! Marc really did this!” I did have the winning ticket. It was overwhelming! At home we refer to our stained glass window with the butterflies as “Our gift from Marc.” Kathleen’s symbolic ADC proves it’s never too late to ask for a sign, just as she did eight years after the death of her son. Regardless of the time that has elapsed since they died, our loved ones continue to assure us that dying is merely a transition to another state of being or level of consciousness.
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 carolyn@wisdomseekers.org.nz
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Many people reported receiving a sign which affirmed that their deceased family member or friend had survived physical death and continues to live in another dimension of existence. We call these symbolic ADCs or ADC signs. They are a relatively common type of after-death communication.
In the first four accounts of symbolic ADCs the experiencers received a butterfly as their personal sign.
ADC signs often contain multiple levels of meaning. June’s curiosity caused her to delve deeper and learn a great deal more about her son’s message than was apparent at first glance.
The next three accounts demonstrate how various species of birds and mammals can also play an important role as ADC signs.
